B'nei Mitzvah: What You Need to Know
Picking a Date
- When can my child have their Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
- Wait... my kid has a Hebrew birthday?
- When can I schedule the date?
- What if there’s another bar/bat mitzvah in the community that day?
- What if my child will be celebrating somewhere other than TBA? Do I have to tell anyone? Do I have to pay any fees?
When can my child have their Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
Wait... my kid has a Hebrew birthday?
When can I schedule the date?
What if there’s another bar/bat mitzvah in the community that day?
What if my child will be celebrating somewhere other than TBA? Do I have to tell anyone? Do I have to pay any fees?
The Big Day at TBA
- Where & when does the bar/bat mitzvah service take place?
- What if my family usually attends the Library Minyan or Beiteinu?
- Does the bar/bat mitzvah do a lot?
- Does the bar/bat mitzvah do everything?
- Can other family members and friends participate by leading and chanting?
- What if the typical slate of things that a bar/bat mitzvah leads doesn’t fit with my child’s needs or style?
- Which rabbi(s) will be there?
- What do I need to provide that day?
Where & when does the bar/bat mitzvah service take place?
What if my family usually attends the Library Minyan or Beiteinu?
Does the bar/bat mitzvah do a lot?
Does the bar/bat mitzvah do everything?
Can other family members and friends participate by leading and chanting?
What if the typical slate of things that a bar/bat mitzvah leads doesn’t fit with my child’s needs or style?
Which rabbi(s) will be there?
What do I need to provide that day?
Standards & Customs
- Does my family need to belong to TBA at the time of our child’s bar/bat mitzvah?
- What if I want to honor people but I’m not sure if they’ll know how to, say, take an aliyah or lift the Torah?
- Does my child need to be in enrolled in a TBA school (Pressman Academy, or our Jewish Learning Community at the time of their bar/bat mitzvah?
- How often should we be coming to Shabbat morning services, in general?
- Who can we assign honors to during the bar/bat mitzvah service?
- What if I have too many people to honor?
- What if I want to honor people but I’m not sure if they’ll know how to, say, take an aliyah or lift the Torah?
- Who is required to wear a kippah and tallit?
- How does TBA do Shabbat? What’s allowed, and what’s not?
- Do we throw candy?
Does my family need to belong to TBA at the time of our child’s bar/bat mitzvah?
What if I want to honor people but I’m not sure if they’ll know how to, say, take an aliyah or lift the Torah?
Does my child need to be in enrolled in a TBA school (Pressman Academy, or our Jewish Learning Community at the time of their bar/bat mitzvah?
How often should we be coming to Shabbat morning services, in general?
Who can we assign honors to during the bar/bat mitzvah service?
What if I have too many people to honor?
What if I want to honor people but I’m not sure if they’ll know how to, say, take an aliyah or lift the Torah?
Who is required to wear a kippah and tallit?
How does TBA do Shabbat? What’s allowed, and what’s not?
Do we throw candy?
Family Participation
- Do the parents of the bar/bat mitzvah give a speech?
- I’m a parent of a bar/bat mitzvah. Can I chant Torah or haftarah, or lead services? How about my family or friends?
Do the parents of the bar/bat mitzvah give a speech?
I’m a parent of a bar/bat mitzvah. Can I chant Torah or haftarah, or lead services? How about my family or friends?
Dates & Deadlines
Private Celebrations
The Fee
Tutoring & Group Learning
- When should tutoring begin?
- How much tutoring will my child need?
- How do I know if my student will need extra tutoring, or extra time?
- Who does the tutoring?
- How much will tutoring cost?
- What are students supposed to learn with their tutors?
- Who works with the student on their D’var Torah (speech/sermon)?
When should tutoring begin?
How much tutoring will my child need?
How do I know if my student will need extra tutoring, or extra time?
Who does the tutoring?
How much will tutoring cost?
What are students supposed to learn with their tutors?
Who works with the student on their D’var Torah (speech/sermon)?
Celebrating with Community
- Is our family supposed to sponsor the kiddush following Shabbat morning services?
- Does the bar/bat mitzvah participate in any services on their big weekend other than the Shabbat morning service?
- Can my family come to Daily Minyan to celebrate this occasion?
Is our family supposed to sponsor the kiddush following Shabbat morning services?
Does the bar/bat mitzvah participate in any services on their big weekend other than the Shabbat morning service?
Can my family come to Daily Minyan to celebrate this occasion?
Other Questions
- Who makes the programs? And how many copies should we make?
- What if my family is celebrating in Israel/camp/elsewhere?
- “Triennial vs. Full Kriyah” - What do we chant on Shabbat morning from our Torah?
- When can we take pictures and video?
- Is there anything we need to pick up from the synagogue?
- My guests (and/or we) have young children. What can/should we do with them during services?
- What about tefillin? Where do we get it?
- My kid goes to Pressman. How will they celebrate their bar/bat mitzvah at school?
- Is there a dress rehearsal?
- How do I let the community know that my child’s bar/bat mitzvah is coming up?
- Is there some kind of “mitzvah project” requirement?
- What happens after the bar/bat mitzvah service?